Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Jim's coming over for dinner tonight, and I begged Pete to try to be home early so I didn't have to be "alone" with him for too long. Don't get me wrong - I love my father-in-law. But I just don't know what to say. What do you say to a grown man going through his third divorce? Whose wife claims to be totally taken unawares? There are plenty of things I could say, but probably none I should. (repeating to myself: "This is not my problem.")

Jim tries to explain to us what happened, and most of his "reasons" are the little things. The peccadilloes we all learn about when we live day-in/day-out with someone. My personal opinion, he just decided he didn't want to be married anymore. And I don't know if that's a good enough reason to walk away. But there's no way to really know what that marriage was like, so I'm really trying not to make assumptions - trying to withhold judgment. That's so hard for me to do.

After Marilyn's son's abuse via Facebook last week, I de-friended them both, and asked Marilyn to stop emailing me. If by some miracle they reconcile that may be tough to explain, but I just needed to get out of it, and fast. I haven't heard anything from them since, thank God.

This whole thing gives me a pit in my stomach.


carrster said...

Ack! How did dinner go? I'm so proud of you for de-friending them. That's good. you don't need to be in their mess. And if reconciliation happens, so be it. Your only explanation needs to be that you didn't want to get caught in the crossfire. Nothing more, nothing less.

Kate said...

Darlin', there's no excuse for someone berating you and you don't need to explain your actions to anyone. If there's anything I've learned in recovery, it's each person to themselves. Just say, "This doesn't work for me." That's a whole sentence and a conversation ender. Just say it until they stop. I mean it.