The Home Stretch

4 weeks, 3 days until my due date. Please, please, please God, don't let me go over. I can make it to then - I'm prepared for that. If I go late, I may go crazy.

In general, I'm doing much better than I did with Kate. Not sitting in meetings all day definitely helps. Back pain is almost nonexistant. Pelvic pain has been sporadic, but is starting to settle in. The swelling and carpal tunnel have taken off admirably in the last week. At least this time I know it will go away. Last time I think I reached the point where I was convinced I would be like that forever.

April 27th was my last orchestra concert until September. Ahhhh. It had gotten really impossible to play. I'm carrying more out in front this time so trying to get comfortable with this big belly was a losing proposition. I'm very glad to be done for awhile.

We have yet to do much of anything on fixing the house. It was supposed to be my "job" to get bids lined up, but the energy ran out right at the crucial moment. I really need to lie down during Kate's naps to help the swelling, and by the time she goes to bed, I'm worn out.

Kate's room is also taking WAY longer than expected. We did two colors of pink on her wall (Pete did a beautiful chair rail on the wall). The bottom pink is perfect, but the top pink wound up too blue. It was a true challenge to our marriage when I insisted we redo the top part. But it is done now and the bed is painted and all at no thanks whatsoever to me. My dear husband has really come through on this. We should be able to get the bed set up this week and then start moving everything in. Hopefully the dresser will arrive in the next week or two (over a month late!) and we can get Kate in there.

Kate is a doll. She's excited for her new room, and seemed to figure out all on her own that her baby sister will sleep in her crib, since we certainly never said that. She keeps talking about her baby sister using her baby room when she moves. Smart, sweet kid. She's big into pretending these days, and when she doesn't insist on wearing a dress so she can be a "pretty, pretty princess" (what happened to my tomboy??) she is busy pretending she's a baby wolf or kitty or some other animal. At this moment, I am mama bird, feeding her a snack as she sits on her "nest" of blankets. It's just amazing to me.

I've been busy doing fun things with her the last couple of months. While I finally believe that this baby will be something for us to experience together and Kate will love her, it does sadden me a bit that it won't just be us anymore. Lately, she's wanted me to snuggle with her until she falls asleep at nap time. I know that conventional sleep wisdom says that's a horrible idea, but for me it's this precious time where I can hold her closely and talk and sing and enjoy her with no distraction. My ability to do that will be greatly reduced if not gone so soon - I'll take every moment I can get. She's growing up so fast.

I remember when Kate was born, someone asked Pete and I what our biggest surprises were. I couldn't really come up with one - I had felt pretty prepared for having an infant. I think I know what my surprise is, now. I never understood that as much as parenthood can fill your heart more than you ever thought possible, it also breaks it just a little bit at the same time.