I'm officially exhausted today. Sunday was crazy busy as I: did laundry, rehearsed with my sis-in-law and niece (we played as 2 vln/cello trio at the funeral yesterday), did my own practicing on Ein Heldenleben (damn you, Strauss) and for the funeral (did a solo, too), prepared for cello sectionals on Sunday night, prepared clothes for the funeral, washed & filled the truck, went to rehearsal.... etc. etc. Up way too late, and then up bright and early yesterday to get down to New Ulm by 9AM.
The funeral was nice. They really kept things moving, which I appreciated. I had mixed emotions about playing at the service. I know it made my mom happy, so I never would have refused, but it really complicated an already busy time, and frankly would have rather been able to just sit through the service with my family rather than jump up and down do play. I was doing really well through the service emotionally. I had an inner monologue along the lines of, "It's just another gig. You don't know these people." So I held it together and the playing went well, and I finished my solo and completely lost it. Kind of surprised me, actually.
Last night I was again up way too late, but just for psycho pregnant-woman reasons. Every now and again since I've been pregnant I just get these emotional jags where I am overwhelmed with worry about Kate. All I can do is think about how much I love her and am just crippled with this terror that something might happen to her and that I don't know if I could survive that and how on earth will I be able to function when there is a second little being that I love this much?? Fun, huh? It only happens when Kate is sleeping, and it's always gone when I wake up in the morning. I'm very much hoping this goes away when this baby comes.
So today I am pooped. Pete's sister is coming over for dinner and I'm moving in sloooow motion (thank god for crock pot recipes). I have a to-do list as long as my arm, but I think I'm just going to let most of it go until tomorrow.
An interesting preview to what my sleep-deprived life with a newborn will be like.
On the plus side, my darling girl just pulled up a chair next to me and proclaimed, "I'm so CUTE, Mama!" Hmmm, think she hears that too often?